BREAKS . . . .

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BREAKS . . . .

Member	BREAKS . . . .
	candymandy Member (1002posts) 7/17/2005 12:57:00 AM What do people think about couples who take breaks? Have you ever taken a break with your other half, and what was the outcome? Are breaks a good idea? How long should a break last for? Thanks!
	_Saint Member (21612posts) 7/17/2005 1:08:00 AM It would depend on the circumstances.
	_Dejah_ Member (6264posts) 7/17/2005 1:09:00 AM its not a break....he dumped you. get over it.
	_Saint Member (21612posts) 7/17/2005 1:17:00 AM ^ Would you like to come over and give me a back massage ?
	hunnybunch Member (2275posts) 7/17/2005 1:22:00 AM my bf and i have always discussed taking a break....we finally did a few weeks ago. it lasted 6 days. really, i think we both just needed some time apart to decide if the relationship is what we really wanted, and if we were willing to change ourselves for the sake of the other person or the relationship....we also needed time to calm down and get over the hurt i guess. we were both quite mean with each other....but in the long run, it was for the best. i think if one person needs some space or time, then you should give it to them.... i say that, but i'm so bad about it. i take it very personally....which is stupid, because a lot of the times i think "ok, i've had enough of him, i want some ME time now" and it has nothing to do with him...i just like having time to myself.
	Tiffers Member (7462posts) 7/17/2005 5:40:00 AM In most cases a break is a way to put your gf/bf on the back burner while you hook up, or even to "see whats out there" with the other sex. I say no breaks.....Either stay together or end it 100%
	hunnybunch Member (2275posts) 7/17/2005 6:54:00 AM ^^^ yeah, i can see that.....we werent allowed to hook up with anyone else though. both made it very clear. and the poor guy stayed home the entire time....
	Tiffers Member (7462posts) 7/17/2005 8:11:00 AM ^ Oh then thats cool.
	candymandy Member (1002posts) 7/17/2005 8:19:00 AM Thanks for (almost) everyone's input . . . . Yeah, my boyfriend of almost 3 years and i mutual decided on a break . . . and we both agreed not to see other people. My emotions are soooo incredibly mixed . . . I miss the companionship (it's weird not to have seen him this weekend) but for some strange reason I feel really really angry as well. I also am feeling slightly hurt, and it's difficult because I have no idea when this "break" will be over. Someone in another forum posted this quote, and it just seems to fit at the moment: "Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering." It's also hard when you really love someone and it's not working the way things should.
	candymandy Member (1002posts) 7/17/2005 9:50:00 AM hunnybunch - when you were on the break, did that mean you weren't allowed to talk, email, or text each other? Did the break end after six days because you had both decided (at the beginning of the break) to talk after 6 days, or did it end because you guys contacted each other and then made-up? I am so confused about this right now. It seems to me to defeat the purpose of figuring things out in a realtionship - I'm someone who always talks stuff through, and so not being able to communicate at all hurts A LOT.
	Pure_Extacy Member (508posts) 7/17/2005 10:08:00 AM i'm going through that right now also, except mine started april 25,we had 1 bad fight and this was the result of it... i still dont see no end in sight, even though he says he is not dating anyone else and i am the only one for him, why are we doing this??? keep in mind i am almost 8 months pregnant with his child, which makes it so much harder for me to think of life with out him...... i say just stay strong..... its the best thing you can do.... sometimes they just need that chase back as well, if he sees that your life has gone on without him, he will want to come back faster i think.... i wish i could take my own adivce but its hard to try to act that way knowing i am going to be a mom to our child pretty soon
	FireIce Member (1260posts) 7/17/2005 10:30:00 AM my bf and i have talked about it and realized that we dont even need it cause we give eachother space. and we respect each other toknow when wejust want to hang out with other people.
	sohni Member (2044posts) 7/18/2005 12:19:00 AM I personally don't believe in breaks... you either stay together or break it off completely. My bf and I just split up a few weeks ago and taking a break wasn't even an option... although I sometimes feel that we'll end up back together
	hunnybunch Member (2275posts) 7/18/2005 1:56:00 AM well i did call a couple of times (once was very drunk and just lots of tears...no good). i dont blame your frustration. on the sixth day, i called him and said it's now or never. we both had time to relax, and think about things.... personally, i think you gain a better understanding into the relationship, and the other person's needs and desires by communicating, not by sitting around the house missing the other person (or not).... if you're fed up, tell him that. just be honest, and say what you think or feel....that way, regardless of which way the relationship goes, you wont regret anything. good luck! hope things turn out the way you want them to.... do you know why he wanted the break? what his reasons for it are?
	candymandy Member (1002posts) 7/18/2005 9:17:00 AM Our break was mainly mutual - I knew I needed some space (i.e. I was supposed to go to a wedding with him next weekend, and said I would go away with my parents for 2 days instead) and that's when he told me he too needed time. So he said we should have a break. Well, after 6 days, I missed him so much I emailed him, and wrote text messages asking when he'd be able to reply to my email. He didn't get the chance to until 11:45 last night, and his email response was that it's over. It HURTS SO INCREDIBLY MUCH Almost three years with a person and it's gone over 2 fights. WE never even fought for our entire relationship, and he's willing to give it up just after 2 stupid fights. I wanted to work things out, and try again, and apparently before I ended the "break time" so did he, but my emails and texts ticked him off and so that's what pushed him over the edge. I do believe he was over the edge long before that. THe First Cut is The Deepest
	darsee Member (615posts) 7/18/2005 9:26:00 AM i can understand a break for a little amount of time to rethink things and get your issues straight. But since april pure_extacy? You got to ask yourself whats the point. You got a child on the way, you need to figure things out with him. You do not want to have these issues when the kid comes trust me.
	kyser Member (3866posts) 7/18/2005 9:44:00 AM well don't you guys remember what happened with Ross and Racheal?
	Intricate_Design Member (740posts) 7/18/2005 9:51:00 AM I'm so sorry You must be feeling pretty awful right now. As hard as it is, you have to remember that the right guy would have fought for you... he would have fought to keep you and to work things out. If some emails and texts ticked him off... that's a lousy excuse designed to make you feel like it was you. It very likely wasnt. The right guy is going to be there for you, and as awful as this is and how hard it must be for you right now... remember it's something you just gotta do in order to move on and find someone worthwhile. Stay busy and stay away from love songs... tons of good break up songs out right now... those help!
	MissBrazil Member (2636posts) 7/18/2005 10:05:00 AM Me and my BF don't believe in breaks at all. If you get to a point where you can't work things out and a break seems like the way to go.. then you should just break up. What are you gonna solve apart?? The same problems you had before are going to be there when you get back together. If you can't work it out then just break up. I say no breaks.....Either stay together or end it 100%
	hothot Member (77posts) 7/18/2005 10:09:00 AM mine cheated on me