Post Your Favourite Craigslist Ads Here
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 Post Your Favourite Craigslist Ads Here
jayceee
jayceee Member (2465posts)
12/27/2006 4:06:00 AM
http://vancouver.craigslist.org/stp/253640514.html
this add was in the strictly platonic section

Kissing Cousins - m4w - 40

Guess this is platonic in that there is no sex. I am looking for a long term kissing partner (short term if you really insist). We could meet for coffee. If there is interest we can talk about becoming kissing partners ... no more, no less. There is an art to great kissing and more than pure sex, requires great chemistry. As an added bonus we could have great discussions on a variety of subjects including analyzing your current relationships (while kissing of course).

I am a pretty good looking Asian and interested in attractive women of all ages.

jayceee
jayceee Member (2465posts)
12/27/2006 4:17:00 AM
Here's an add for free therapy from a guy who will probably try to take advantage of the f.ucked up women who message him.

Do you need someone to listen and understand?
http://vancouver.craigslist.org/stp/252954977.html
Are you feeling unappreciated? Having issues with life and need someone to talk to? Family and friends just not able to understand, or are not able to tell them? I have dealt with most of what life can throw at you, loss of income, bad relationships, identity issues, addiction, abuse and more. I am offering my time and support tothose that could use it as people have helped me and I have helped people in the past. I am confidential and discreet. Let's talk....

RED FLAG

coconut_monkee
coconut_monkee Member (21776posts)
12/27/2006 4:23:00 AM
^the 2nd one, could be a woman posting it. Just curious as to what makes you think its a creepy guy? theres no solicitation for bartering their service, & the ad is located in "strictly platonic". Its not located in Barter, erotic services, therapeutic services or anywhere else...

Could be a 45 yr old recovering addict housewife that had lost someone in some crazy car-jacking or something.

coconut_monkee
coconut_monkee Member (21776posts)
12/27/2006 4:32:00 AM

jayceee
jayceee Member (2465posts)
12/27/2006 4:33:00 AM
^ The Kissing Cousins add was in the strictly platonic section too.

I'm going to email and find out.

jayceee
jayceee Member (2465posts)
12/27/2006 4:43:00 AM
Can someone please explain to this woman that life is NOT a Julia Roberts movie or an Elton John song?

http://vancouver.craigslist.org/w4m/253851741.html
Hi there. Wow am I making an "ad" on craigslist to somehow find my "one"? ok yeah.. sounds pathetic....or it could be brilliant. The reason I say this is because if I haven't found you yet...walking on the street...at the supermarket...the videostore or even by some set-up by a thoughtful friend...then isn't the internet the next possible realm? haha

I'm the kinda girl who knows what she wants...yet still loves to be surprised. I care..I think I care too much....theres a lot of feelings inside of me that could better be spent on the man I'm supposed to be with. I want what everyone wants.....true love. I'm also a bit impatient.

I guess I want that thing that makes you feel safe....you wake up and you feel safe because you know the person who you love just woke up and felt the exact same thing. Thats called magic....magic is real..none of this illusion crap.

I know who I am...but I still wanna find those things about myself that happens when you're with your signifigant other.

I'm not perfect I don't expect you to be....no one is. Little things irritate me....little things I do might irritate you too. Lets experience that together.

I want a connection that doesn't get broken. I want to look into your eyes and know you're the one for me.

I want to travel the world with you, taste new foods, listen to great music, touch you and get shivers , expect the unexpected.

I want to ask you a question and have you think first before answering. I want to make you feel like the strongest man in the world. I want to make you mine.

I'm interested in guys around my age or up to 30....after that it seems the wavelengths aren't on the same level. I'm an old soul...AQUARIUS....we have different ways of thinking .

I would imagine my "one" is tall....caucasion...(i'm not racist) thats just how I see him. Is kind and loves his family more than anything. I tend to prefer more unique looking guys....but a nice smile always does it for me. Tattoos are a plus....and a wild adventurous side...i'm a night person.


jayceee
jayceee Member (2465posts)
12/27/2006 4:44:00 AM
Continued..

I have a picture...please only respond if you have one and DO NOT EMAIL ME WITH A PICTURE OF UR PENIS.....I"M NOT LOOKING FOR A HOOK UP.....after I review all the candidates I will then let YOU know....


Location: here with you.




Ishtar
Ishtar Member (5721posts)
12/27/2006 12:22:00 PM
Crazy people make the world more interesting for sure.

trinity210
trinity210 Member (5747posts)
12/27/2006 3:46:00 PM
wow.

i can't think of anything else to type but wow.

Spiderwoman
Spiderwoman Member (54106posts)
12/27/2006 4:46:00 PM
As an added bonus we could have great discussions on a variety of subjects including analyzing your current relationships

ewwwwwwww

People needing to be needed.

Spiderwoman
Spiderwoman Member (54106posts)
12/27/2006 9:05:00 PM
Can you change Adds to Ads?

It's driving me nuts.

jayceee
jayceee Member (2465posts)
12/27/2006 11:17:00 PM
^ There you go.
=)

Spiderwoman
Spiderwoman Member (54106posts)
12/27/2006 11:22:00 PM
smile

Ishtar
Ishtar Member (5721posts)
12/28/2006 12:14:00 AM
holy sh!t triple post.
It's like getting three shreddies stuck together outta the cereal box.
Make a wish angel

wolfchick
wolfchick Moderator (45828posts)
12/28/2006 9:17:00 AM
I'm so naive... I thought craigslist was a place to list my old furniture or a place to buy some unique garden furniture... blank stare

alize_red_passion
alize_red_passion Member (3825posts)
12/28/2006 2:15:00 PM
one of my all time favs.

Dear beautiful naked girl -

Yes, I know it is HOT now in New York and steamy, too and your landlord probably sucks so your air conditioning doesn't work and it is hot in your studio apartment and you want to do everything you can to keep cool so you turn on that little fan by the window and try to get some fitful sleep and to keep extra cool you strip off that little white t-shirt and those loose shorts you wear and lie down gloriously naked on your cool bed which is near the window and even though you have the shade dowm some there is that 2 foot gap at the bottom that helps bring air into your apartment but also gives a glorious view to anyone who happens to live across the street from you.

I thought you'd want to know: There are other people in this town.

Some of us are male. Some of us notice beautiful girls lying.. well, gloriously naked on their beds and can't help but.. well, notice!

So here is my request. If you are going to lie naked on your bed near your window to beat the heat and are going to occasionally stroke yourself JUST A LITTLE BIT which is just enough to make us wonder exactly what you are planning on doing then please do us a favor and either finish the job with your fingers or get yourself one of those rabbit things or SOMETHING so that those of us (males that live across the street from you) can GET SOME SLEEP and don't keep wondering what you are doing all evening and night 'cause you fell asleep with your light on which just means you are naked and in view all night and some of us work during the day and need to get some sleep so we can do some work and get paid so we can afford to stay in this town and live in the apartment that is across the street from you... please.. ok...

..nap time now...

SouthpawOutlaw
SouthpawOutlaw Member (935posts)
12/28/2006 3:54:00 PM
Dog Show - 53
Reply to: pers-244734620@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-12-05, 9:52PM EST


If you have a dog or dogs med size or larger and you would like to watch something really kinky email me and I will lick the ass of your dog clean and lick it as long as you want me to. I will also French kiss your dog and lick your dogs balls, **** or whatever you want.

By the way this ad does not violate the posted rules of craigs list






SouthpawOutlaw
SouthpawOutlaw Member (935posts)
12/28/2006 3:55:00 PM


VCU student looking for a friend - 24
Reply to: pers-244675670@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-12-05, 7:36PM EST


Hello!

I am looking for someone who can keep me company during those lonely days, nights, and holidays. I am NOT looking for sex; if you are, look somewhere else. I just graduated so i am looking for someone to go out with on days when im not working and/or do something fun on the weekends. I am easy going, fun, and say random things at times. I drink and smoke; if this is a problem, please dont respond either. I dont want to be lectured about how bad it is!!! hahaha. i've got parents to do that for me. I would like, ONLY, men between the ages of 21-35 to respond and remember pics get pics. im not looking for a relationship just someone to kill time with. I have a boyfriend who treats me like ****, has no time for me, and has a different definition for fun. i promise, he wont be a problem at all. if i havent already scared ya and you're still interested... holla!!!!!


thanks
(This could just as easily been rephrased as "I am looking for a dude to totally emasculate and complain about my ****ty boyfriend at"wink






Eat My Yellow Snow - m4m - 21
Reply to: pers-243998673@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-12-04, 1:33PM CST


Hey guys, anyone got a taste for one of my special yellow snow cones? Any generous men want to come over and watch as I let out a hot golden stream into a patch of fresh snow and then you eat it while I watch and humiliate you. I can even scoop it up into a snow cone and hand it to you if that would get you off. I'm a UIC student, 21, 5'8" 145 lbs., str8, green eyes, light brown hair. If this sounds like something that would get you hot on a cold day like today hit me up and let me know what you'd be willing to pay for this service. Available any time today since all my classes ended at 1.





SouthpawOutlaw
SouthpawOutlaw Member (935posts)
12/28/2006 3:56:00 PM
I think I remember you, from that place! - 59
Reply to: pers-184492538@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-21, 4:52AM EDT


I was at the blockbuster, I think. Or hollywood video. I'm not sure. There was this girl though, behind the counter. About 40 years younger than me. She gave me the eyes. You know, THE eyes. I looked at her, and I said very quietly....MOOOOOOOOOOOTELLLLLL! You went into the back room and never came out. We had a moment, right? I'll be back, don't worry. I know you miss my cologne. My account is under Alen Ripp, incase you were curious. I miss you. My blonde haired brown haired mistress of the sun. 2 years ago I gave you a card. There was a teddy bear too. Do you remember the lesbian manager, kelly? Oh I miss her. She smelled just as good as you. Like burnt hair. God I love that smell. Especially on a woman. Please please please contact me my wife just left me. We need to do stuff, immediately.




MEN SEEKING WOMEN:

Probably different from any guy you know( but not in a bad way lol) - 21
Reply to: pers-190906402@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-08-06, 8:41PM EDT


Im not sure why im posting this maybe just to see if there are any actual fish in the sea cause im pretty sure my sea is fishless, I'm 21 I am a christian if your not a christian you need not continue reading lol I'm not trying to be harsh but i have certain standards I refuse to bend on, looking for an attractive girl around my age thats driven and not immature but can be goofy and whatever from time to time. Not lookin for a smoker not lookin for a heavy drinker or a "party girl" ive had too many girls cheat on me that way, too much alcohol = unfaithful. Im extremly ambitous I am just starting my 3rd business so I can provide the best for my future wife and myself. I am virgin Ive saved myself for my wife even though I havent met her yet Im kinda banking on her doing the same for me, thats right ladies a 21 year old virgin lookin for the same that rules out about 99% of the population but thats ok cause when I find her....that 1% that God specifically made for me. Its all gonna be worth it. Have a great day ladies




Shanghai Wants Have Sexy in America Gurl - 23
Reply to: pers-197813577@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-08-23, 12:28PM EDT


I come Shanghai China for Carnegie Mellon University graduate engineering electric School. 172cm. 49kg. slim. pretty. eye black. hair black. stay at school home. My english poor. speaking mandarin. cantonese. shanghaiese. fugian hua. small french. Chats in me on QQ or yahoo.

I looking for gurl to be friends with love. I wants sexy with gurl for 2 years here. just only 1 girls. Wants to have gurl from america for love with sexy. no fat. pretty. my ages. smarts. haves sexy picture for share to gf. no guys waist my times.
Xie Xie
Xiao Xiang Ling



Masochistic Recovering Alcoholic seeks Alcoholic - w4m - 27
Reply to: pers-224180987@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-10-22, 12:27PM PDT


Hi – I am a recovering substance abuser / bottom. I’m looking for somebody drink themselves silly in front of, or, if possible, directly on top of me. I will be chained and/or tied to a bed while you get wasted. If you could, while drunk, talk about how strong/powerful/witty you feel, that would be extra exciting. Getting drunk enough to puke is perfectly okay, and it’s even alright if you get a little throw-up on me, though I would ask that you aim away from my face. If you can still function after several hours, I might request that you finger me. Fulfillment of this request is at your discretion.

A little about me:
My two biggest passions are sudoku and musical theater.










SouthpawOutlaw
SouthpawOutlaw Member (935posts)
12/28/2006 3:59:00 PM
Nasty ENEMA phone slut looking 4 DADDA or DR for fone fun - w4m - 27
Reply to: pers-251468111@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-12-20, 2:31AM PST


Hello there men. I am a young lady who is into nasty enema play and I am looking to find the right man to talk to on the phone as I fill my belly with warm water. I love to get on my knees and fill up for you. I have a very thirsty ass and it loves to take a big drink every once in a while. I have 2 2qt enema bags with nice sized nozzles that I would love to fill up and take as you instruct me to do so. I love nasty daddy/ daughter scenarios where you fill my belly and stretch it out like I am pregnant, training me for when I get older. I also like nasty dr/ patient role playing where you have to rinse all the cum out of my asshole, time after time. I love to take bag after bag and I never get tired. My sessions on the phone usually take about an hour to an hour and a half before I feel tired and I am looking for someone who has that kind of time to spend on the phone. I can usually take 2qts no problem, but my record is 4qts. I like to take my enemas doggy style or laying on my back with my legs up on the door frame. I also like to participate in 420 while I fill, so I hope this is not a problem. I am also open to putting some while or whiskey in my enema as well. You can talk to me on the phone as you instruct me to walk to the liquor store ( with suppositories up my ass) and buy some alcohol to put in the enema. It gets me buzzed if you make me hold it. I am looking to play on Wednesday or Thursday. Please respond with a hot note and your number and I will call you to arrange a time for us to talk. Cheers! Michelle

ThePhoenix
ThePhoenix Member (14394posts)
12/28/2006 7:50:00 PM

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